thanksgiving

thanksgiving has always been my favorite holiday. my mom's family was really close growing up, and we would all head over to our aunt and uncle's home for the feast. i would play with my 6-7 cousins and my sister and we would pass out in the car on the way home. my aunt and monther would put on a great feast. all the usuals, but they are great cooks.

when we all moved away from each other, we spent a few TGs meeting in randoms cities for mini-reunions, this time in high school and college, drinking beers with my cousins and sister and catching up.

now that we are all married and some have kids of our own, we dont generally see our cousins on holidays anymore, or in between even, except for the random wedding or impromptu visit as most of us live or lived in DC, NYC, Boston and Atlanta.

V and i usually take turns on the holidays, so one year with mine, the next with his. this has brought the joy of thanksgiving down a bit for me, as his mom is not a great cook and i really, really, really love me some mashed potatoes and stuffing. sans giblets. she actually made mashed potatoes once with a blender. they were like glue. i think i actually cried thinking of my family eating a moist turkey and redskin mashed potatoes...

last year we were mid-cycle for 2nd massachusetts IUI and i refused to cancel it so i banged out a fabulous dinner for the 3 of us. there was quite a bit of tension from V being away from families for a reason he did nto see as more important. and now this year we are not traveling because i was so nervous at beginning of pregnancy so some of V's family is coming here. i hope to make a feast at least as good as last year.

now more importantly...i guess..what am i thankful for this year?

obviously being pregnant. i really/truly though i would never have another child, and now i will hopefully be blessed with two.

M's pregnancy. if this was my first pregnancy i would never/ever/ever do it again. i am miserable with worry. i can not gain weight. i absolutely despise the entire MGH OB team. including my own doctor. not to completely go off on tangent, but in NYC, i had regular ultrasounds, they tested my blood at EVERY single visit, and i was comfortable with my doctor. i am just not comfortable.

my family. they have been and continue to be my rock. not that it isn't rocky, but with a lack of support from V during this journey, i am not sure i would have come out on top.

V. i think he is trying to be a bit more caring and helpful. we still have no intimacy and there is definitely no aura of love swimming around us, but i am thinking we may make it. although he still does complain a lot. i have a back injury from a few years back that i re-aggravate once in a while and have been "resting it" all weekend. i know he is bored sitting around, but i could barely walk last night. still, he could take M out and about and not bitch about how "he works his ass off all week." seriously. i do too.

OK, no bad feelings now, i am off to finalize my final TG dinner shopping list and want to make sure i blow it away!