"lining too thin."
"several small on left."
"right side still quiet."
that sums up my 7:oo appointment.
nurse just called back and said E2 = 20. not so good. she instructed me to up the gonal-f to 112.5 and i will go back on thursday.
i am not a chemist. i do not know what the fuck a CC is and i don't want to know. i do not want to mix drugs and try to figure out half of a dose using the dilutant from the reponrex to make the gonal-f. i do not want to inject myself with anymore CCs. this is simply bullshit.
and i know it is not going to work because my numbers are always the same. the estrogen is always too low. and i never have big follicles so they increase meds and keep on truckin' on until a few show up. then they are probably sucky quality. if they do not overstimulate and force me to sit a couple cycles out. i hate my body. i hate ivf. i hate the universe and whatever is making this happen to us.
it is so fucking unfair. yet i keep doing it. just waiting for the same devastation/disappointment/anger/sadness. again. and again. 28 times this will be in 26 months, i think. who can remember and who wants to look back through three calendars.
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