one of my bestest friends called me several weeks ago to tell me she had been trying to conceive for 5 months. no, i was not annoyed/jealous/sad bc i love her and want her to have a beautiful family. we chatted for a while and i assured her it would happen (how i did this i do not know...) and we have not spoke since.
until friday. when i saw her number on the id i knew she was pregnant. we chatted for a minute or two and she asked when "the big (ivf) day" was....then i asked how her TTC was coming.
as predicted, she and hubby P got pregnant.
and then miscarried at ~6 weeks.
it sucks. i actually cried a bit as she told me. i do not wish infertility on anyone. (except maybe the crack whores i see with 5 kiddies on the subway.) i especially do not want anyone i love to experience this horrible hell.
but as we were talking about her miscarriage, and my own if struggle, i could not help be a tad jealous of her.
yes, seriously. i am really that pathetic/desperate/crazed. yes, i am jealous of a miscarriage.
my reasoning is: she got pregnant. in little time. with no drugs/needles/pills/exams/crazy IF bullshit. she did not suffer through 27 TWWs, examining every single cramp/twinge/pain. she did not have to get her blood drawn 15X a cycle. meet the dildo-cam. (until post miscarriage.)
and she will get pregnant again. this i really truly hope.
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