so my despair over my earlier BFN -- even though i know it is still early and was not with FMU and was a cheapo target test* --has been replaced with the terror of giving myself the PIO tonight and tomorrow. V was called out of town by a client and came home this afternoon to me weeping and M playing on balcony. poor guy. he could use a break even if it is to warm (103) austin.
see, i have not completely lost hope
so as i break from obsessing over the much-braver-than-i women on youtube for a pee break, i notice some reddish/brown CM on my underpants. i know this could be result of the new vivelle patches i am sporting on my belly, but i of course prefer to assume it is the other symptom not to be written in fear of jinxing...
let the obsessing consume.
now if i can hold of testing until thursday, which was my original plan.
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